Totes

Description: This merit badge-inspired design rewards people with Vulgar History coded skills like: stitchery, partying, poisoning, and stabbing. Art by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: Listeners of the Vulgar History brigade are known as the Tits Out Brigade. This design celebrates this elite group! Art by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: This one goes out to all the people doing research poorly! And also to those who are incorrectly accused of this misdeed. Mwah! Design by Siobhan Gallagher https://www.siobhan-gallagher.com/

Description: Because sometimes a Queen doesn't have a kingdom.

Description: The Vulgar History podcast was founded in 2019, and has been not taking history seriously ever since. Design by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: Peg Plunkett was a brothel owner in 18th-century Dublin and was one of the most important people of that era. This design imagines the merch she may have made if the technology had existed back then. Design by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: Because when you’re a genderless spirit, you get to have all the things.

Description: The Mazarinettes were seven women living in 17th century France known as the It Girls of their era. Most of the Mazarinettes were the daughters of an astrologer, and Marie Mancini (one of the Mazarinettes) published a book about astrology. Design by Ann Foster.

Description: Claire Clairmont is best known as the stepsister of Mary Shelley, and the mother of one of Lord Byron's children. But did you know she lived a fabulous long life of her own, and exemplifies the candy goth aesthetic? Ergo, she is the TRUE Goth Queen. Art by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: Lola Montez was an Irish-born woman in the 19th century who pretended to be Spanish for grifter purposes. She was famous for her spider dance, and for getting in a whip fight with a journalist in Australia. Design by Iris Simancas irissimancas.com

Description: In 1553, the poet Nisayi wrote an elegy for the death of Prince Mustafa of the Ottoman Empire, in which she called the imperial consort Hürrem Sultan a "spiteful hag". Design by Siobhan Gallagher siobhan-gallagher.com

Description: John Knox was a Presbyterian minister in 16th century Scotland and he didn't approve of most things that women did. Therefore his ghost would probably point at you and yell WHOOOOOORES. Art by Jan Jupiter jupiterillustraties.com/

Description: The De Guise family were very powerful in Renaissance France. Their motto was not, but could have been, Don't Stop De Guise'n!

Description: William Cecil was an influential leader in Tudor England. And you are at least as good a leader as he was.

Description: While imprisoned in England, Mary Queen of Scots made an embroidery called A CATTE. This take on that design, featuring a much happier mouse and a cat(te) inspired by Hepburn Foster (co-host of Vulgar History podcast) is by Jan Jupiter (jupiterillustraties.com)

Description: Are you a person with an opinion? Then like the Vulgar History podcast, you may be very biased! Own this description in a sweet throwback design by Siobhan Gallagher (siobhan-gallagher.com)

Description: Are you, like one reviewer described the Vulgar History podcast, "rambling and unscholarly"? Own it in this sweet retro design by Siobhan Gallagher (siobhan-gallagher.com)

Description: Catherine de'Medici was Queen of France in the 16th century. She had dozens of sexy women who worked for her as spies, known as the Flying Squadron. Artwork by Jan Jupiter jupiterillustraties.com

Description: Catherine de'Medici was Queen of France in the 16th century. She had dozens of sexy women who worked for her as spies, known as the Flying Squadron. Artwork by Jan Jupiter jupiterillustraties.com

Description: Marie de Guise was regent of Scotland and the mother of Mary, Queen of Scots. She frequently clashed with John Knox, and after defeating him once time she said, "Where is you God now, John Knox?" inspiring this design. Artwork by Jennifer Ferguson @fergiedoodles on Instagram

Description: Catherine Parr, Anne Askew, Katherine Willoughby, and other protestant women of the Renaissance used to hang out and talk about Reformation, ergo they were the Renaissance Reformation Girl Squad! Art by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein, was both a goth queen (losing her virginity on her mother's grave) and a mom friend (making sure her dirtbag pals ate meals and had a place to live). Ergo: goth queen, mom friend! Art by Karyn Moynihan karynmoynihan.com

Description: This design by Jan Jupiter (jupiterillustraties.com) is inspired by the iconic Chevalière d'Éon, a trans woman who lived in 18th-century France.

Description: This design is inspired by a 17th century portrait of Hortense Mancini. Hortense was a French noblewoman who kept flowering and blossoming no matter what her circumstances were. Her name, "Hortense" is a version of the word "Hortensia" which is a kind of flower. Design by Deborah Wong.

Description: A legend in her time and ours, Frances Howard is reimagined with her catchphrase rendered in 16th century script by artist Deborah Wong.

Description: Empress Elisabeth of Austria, better known as Empress Sisi, was never happier or more at peace than when she was horseback riding. This design by Deborah Wong, inspired by the famous 1865 portrait of Sisi by Franz Winterhaler, shows the free spirit she was forced to hide behind the facade of laced-up Empress.

Description: Catalina de Erauso was a Basque person whose adventures in Spanish colonial South America (as outlined in her memoir, The Lieutenant Nun) included card game based stabbings and getting hired to courier thousands of llamas. This design by Deborah Wong is inspired by the design of Spanish playing cards of the 17th century, similar to what Catalina would have played with. Rather than the horse on the actual cards, Catalina is pictured alongside a llama (obviously).